For the past few days I've been acting strange, I know. Something I can't explain is happening and I can only blame myself for this outcome. I can feel it with every second that passes by. I do enjoy this feeling of darkness that has found me once again. I'm changing into the monster that everyone used to know and love (sarcasm).

When I was younger, I embraced the darkness around me and filled my soul with it. I became one with it, I suppose you could say. For a while, I tore myself from that very darkness and ignored it. I ignored myself, my wants, my treasures, my life, and my own creations. I changed myself into something that I never wish to even see again.

Now, I focus on becoming something great, but this darkness calls to me. It's reaching out to me as I'm diving into it. I almost feel like I'm dying, but its comforting. I'm not embracing my death, I'm not willing myself to death, but.. I can't ignore this feeling. My body aches, alas I know it is only a test to see if I still have the strength to be as strong as I once was. I am strong enough. I know I am.

I must warn you all. This is going to make a change in me permenantly. So, if I offend you from this point on. Deal with it. I'm never changing for anyone ever again. Ever. Again.

This feeling is making my body act strange. I've got tears in my eyes, I'm shaking uncontrollably, my bones feel like their liquifying. Goddamn, I've missed this so much. Some of you might think I am crazy, but those of you who do: Didn't know me three years ago. I can hear my own soul screaming at me, such a pleasurable sensation is sent chilling through my veins as the vibrations from the tone is rushed through my shell. I am a monster turning into a nightmare and soon.. Very soon. I'll be complete.

None of you realize how long I've looked forward to this day. Let me ask you this, for those of you who remember the days that have long passed away.

Do you remember the days when I had so much power, it would bleed right off of me? Do you remember the feeling that would send chills into your spine, just from being in my presence? Do you remember my flesh always being ice cold?

It's happening all over again, but this time. It's so much stronger. I can see the darkness in the room around me, pulling and stretching out to grasp me once more. Only, it's not stopping on the surface. It's digging into my shell and attaching itself to my soul. Am I mad? No. I'm falling in love with myself again. Pretty soon, the barrier will be restored and nothing will be able to shatter the wall that will protect me from everything. I'm not even waiting anymore, I'm training myself again and more forcefully than I have ever, in my existance.

If the darkness frightens you. You should come and look deep into my eyes. Stare into my soul and listen for my screams. I'm destroying the parts of my soul that tried to ignore this wonderful experience. You should join me, hand in hand and feel the power that I can use at my own expense.

And now, I am finished here. I'm going to listen to myself breathe.

- Katastrophyk